I still ask myself if I did the right thing, abandoning his floating city.
I don't just mean for the work.
The fact is, a friend like that
a real friend,
you won't meet again
if you decide to go on land,
if you just want to feel something solid under your feet
and then you no longer hear the music of the gods around you.
But, like he used to say :
''You're never really done for as long as you've got a good story
and someone to tell it to.''
The trouble is that no-one would believe a single word of my story.
It happened everytime that someone would look up and see her.
It's difficult to understand.
I mean,there were more than a thousand of us on that ship,
travelling richfolk, immigrants,
strange people and us.
Yet,there was always one, just one
who would see her first.
Maybe he was just sitting there eating
or walking on the deck.
Maybe he was just there fixing his pants.
He'd look up for a second, glance out to sea
and he'd see her.
Then he'd just stand there, rooted to the spot, his heart racing.
And everytime, l swear every damned time,
he'd turn towards us,to the ship, towards everybody and scream...
America !
I lost a lot of money betting on who'd be the first to see her,
America !
It's amiracle, Santa Rosalia !
What do you mean Santa Rosalia, it's the Madonna di Lourdes !
The one who sees America first. There's one on every ship !
And don't be thinking it's an accident or some optical illusion.
It's destiny.
Those are people who had that precise instant stamped on their life.
And when they were kids, you could look into their eyes
and if you looked carefully, you'd already see her,
America.
I've seen a few Americas !
Six years on that ship, five crossings a year :
Europe, America and back. Always soaking in the ocean.
When you stepped on land you couldn't even piss straight in the john.
It was steady, the john I mean,
but you'd keep bobbing like an idiot.
You can get off a ship all right, but off the ocean . . .
I was just closing. What can I do for you?
When I boarded I was twenty-four years old,
and only cared about one thing in life : playing the trumpet.
I'm selling it.
A Conn.
Not bad.
Best brass money can buy !
Could be, in its day.
Been a while since you played, eh ?
If you mean for money, a couple of years.
But I've neverstopped playing it to get rid of the blues.
Don't get me wrong . . .
The greatest jazz players blew through brass like that.
I'm sure they did, but after the war, people want sweet sounds.
They want bright sounds, forget jazz !
This now, is just a collector's item.
Nine pounds fifty, not a penny more.
Christ, that's only 25 dollars !
That horn's my whole life.
Okay, no-one's going to remember me like BuddyBolden or Satchmo,
but even as anobody l'm worth more than 20 lousy dollars !
If you put it like that, I don't think it's worth even half a crown !
Shut the door when you leave, please.
Okay, Pops,you win !
You just bought yourself a piece of musical history.
If you want some advice,
go out now and get something hot to eat.
At least let me play it one last time.
I don't have time to waste !
All right
Hurry up though, I'm closing.
Thank you.
Two peas in a pod,wouldn't you say?
Are you all right? Please don't faint in here.
It's the music that you just played. Don't you recognise it ?
What is it ?
It doesn't have a name.
Only a handful of people have had the privilege of hearing it.
What style !
I've been wondering since this morning,
but I can't work out who this amazing piano player is.
I don't think you've ever heard of him.
Who is he ?
If I told you that this pianist never existed, I wouldn't be lying.
I don't like secrets. They're like dirty underwear !
Come on,Yank, who the devil is playing ?
It's my secret.
It was the first year of this frigging century,
as defined by an unknown coloured coal stoker on the Virginian.
Rich ass bastards ! Only lose dirty handkerchiefs and cigarette butts !
Never a watch, even a dented one, or an odd cuff-link.
Not even a fake fucking ring !
Hey, look here, a whole cigar !
Must have been some rich pauper at the party.
Look at this shit ! Damn rich !
They never forget anything, except when they owe you money.
What the hell are you doing here ?
T.D. Lemons.
Hello, Lemon !
Immigrant business !
Give birth in secret somewhere on deck
and then leave on the ship another mouth to feed !
That's big trouble with the immigration office !
What can a kid like him be when he grows up ? Another immigrant !
Don't listen to those bastards. Go on, lap it up boy !
It's milk.
They left this one in first class hoping some rich guy would take him
and give him a happy life.
-Isn't that right, Danny? -What do youthink ?
And who does the little ape get instead? A poor worthless nigger !
Fuck poverty, you stinking sewerrats !
T.D.was written on the box, do you rats know what that means ?
I forgot, you can't read !
I'll tell you what it means, it means Thanks Danny !
They left that boy for me and l'm keeping him.
-What are you going to call him ? -That's a problem.
I didn't think of that.
To start with, l'll give him my name, Danny Boodman.
Then l'll put T.D. in the middle like the rich put on their cuff-links.
It's classy to put letters in the middle of a name.
All the fucking lawyers have got them in the middle of their names.
One of mine was called John P.T.K. Wonder.
-The one who sent you to jail ? -What a good memory you've got !
If my son grows up to be a lawyer, I'll kill him !
But his name's going to be Danny Boodman T.D. Lemon.
-What do you think ? -lt's up to you.You're his mother !
I like it, but it's short. It needs an ending.
He ain't no duke's son, Danny !
You found him on a Tuesday, call him Tuesday !
That's a good idea for a stupid nigger !
I found him the first month of the first year of this new century,
so I'm calling him Nineteen Hundred !
-But that's a number ! -It was, but now it's aname.
Danny Boodman T.D. Lemon Nineteen Hundred !
Quick,the baby !
Stop that cradle.
How can something that small shit so much ?
Lemon Nineteen Hundred. Shake him, shake him.
Nineteen Hundred's lucky, he was born in shit !
Thanks Danny?
It was like the second coming of Christ.
Maybe it was,with all the miracles that kid had up his sleeve.
Hell, he did everything on the water but walk.
And l heard that he'd done that too.
And that's how little Nineteen Hundred grew up
inside that cradle as big as a ship.
Danny was afraid that they'd take him away because of documents and visas,
so the boy lived his early years hidden away
in the belly of the Virginian.
Now try by yourself.
Push your fingera gainst these words so the letters can't run away !
-Man . . . -Okay, Lemon.
. . . go . . .
-Ma. . . -Just abit more.
. . . Ma.
You read like a god, Lemon !
Now put them all together like the boiler valves.
Go on.
Man-go-Mama !
Right, keep going.
Ya-nk my ch-ain.
Danny, why are you laughing so much ?
These are the names of horses. I'm crazy about horses names.
Read there, that one ran yesterday at Cleveland.
Ha-ppy Hoo-fers.
-I'm pissing myself ! -Listen to this one.
-Sa-ssy La-ssy. -Sassy Lassy !
And this one, Red Hot Mama.
What's a mama, Danny?
A mama?
It's a horse !
-A horse ? -A race horse.
Mamas are thorough breds, the best race horses in the world.
If you bet on a mama, you always win.
Dan, put your finger here and read.
T.D. doesn't mean Thanks Danny.
Who's this pansy?
That's enough reading for tonight. Too much reading's bad for you !
What else is bad, Danny?
Everything off the Virginian is bad.
Everything.
They've got sharks on the land that will eat you alive. Be careful !
See this here.
That was those white sharks.
What's an orphanage ?
It's a big prison where they lock up folks with no kids.
So i fit wasn't forme, they'd put you in an orphanage.
You bet, little Lemon. Go to sleep now.
On that extraordinary floating city, apart from a father,
Nineteen Hundred found a whole family made of truly unique people,
like the ship's doctor.
Open your mouth, like this.
Shit, doctor,what's that hanging from your throat ? Are you ill ?
What's your name, doctor?
Dr Klausermanspizwegensdorfentage.
What a name ! If they had to call you quickly ,they've had it !
That circus of cooks, sailors, radio operators and waiters
took good care of him.
and in their own way tried to give him what they thought was a good education.
Even the ship's Captain, in his way, ended up being part of that crazy family.
Captain Smith, a wise man, had only three defects :
he suffered from claustrophobia, had ahorrible fear of drowning
and hated sweets.
Nineteen Hundred, how many times have I told you not to come up here ?
Especially if it's to steal !
Put the booty back where you found it and return to your den
or I'll send you to the orphanage !
Mr Boodman,this orphan business must come to an end !
It's even against the law.
Fuck the law !
Hey, Mick,what do you think about in the middle of a storm ?
What ? Do I think my lawyer should never have been born ?
Yes,the storm.
You bet he was warned, then I blew off his head !
You think of jam and bread ?
Yes.
Know what I think, Mick ? I think you're loco !
I have gusto?
Danny, tell Pedro how I cut that lawyer's head off !
The Warldorf? I've never been there.
The whites would onlyl et me in to clean the shit out the toilets !
Watch out !
-Danny ! -Run, quickly !
-Get out the way, let me see. -Call a doctor.
The doctor, quickly.
Danny, don't move.
-Hold on. -It's just a pat on the back.
Hang on, the doctor's coming.
DDoctor Kla-Kla-Klaus . . .
Klau-Klauserman!
Klausermanspizwegens Frischerri . . . Kemmanschov . . .
Quick on the Trigger was in the lead
over Holy Shoot and . . .
Times were Good,
Saucy Bossy,
Brave Victory,
Regrets Only,
Blue Balls Running,
and Hurricane over Open Sesame
was past the post in Chicago.
It took three days for old Danny to go.
He let go on the sixth race in Chicago,won by Drinkable Water
by two lengths over Vegetable Soup and five over Blue Foundation.
Dr. Klausermanspizwegensdorfentage
declared that if it hadn't been for the belly laughs,
Danny probably would have survived.
But history isn't made of ''ifs''. The only thing we know for sure
is that suddenly,
Lemon Nineteen Hundred became an orphan for the second time.
Music.
Nineteen Hundred was eight years old then.
He'd made the trip between Europe and America about fifty times.
The ocean was his home.
Sure, and his skin was covered with scales and he had fins, not arms !
It's all true, Pops.
-You can bet your soul on it. -But that's absurd !
That's right.
He never set foot on dry land. Never.
He'd seen it from the ports many times, but he never got off the ship.
The only trouble was that as far as the world knew, he didn't even exist.
There wasn't a city, a parish, a hospital, or baseball team
that had his name anywhere.
He didn't have a country, a birth date, a family.
He was eight years old, but officially, he'd never been born.
America !
Kidnapping.
Charges of kidnapping could be brought against you, Captain,
if one day the boy's kin were to show up.
After eight years, l seriously doubt it.
However, I think the time has come to allow the boy to have a normal life.
I've written a personal note I'd like you to give to the orphanage head.
Very well, Captain. Where is the lad ?
Boatswain, show these gentlemen the way.
Forward.
Slowly.
Search everywhere, upstairs too.
What's in that case? Stop the baggage being off-loaded.
-Have you seen a little boy? -No.
22 days later,when the Virginian headed for Rio de Janeiro,
Nineteen Hundred hadn't been found and no-one knew anything about him.
Everyone had death in their hearts
because they had all gotten attached to the little boy,
although no-one would say so.
-Captain ! Wake up ! -Let me sleep.
-Come with me, quickly ! -Christ !
-Are we sinking ? -Worse than that !
-What's his name ? -Nineteen Hundred.
-Not the song,the boy. -Nineteen Hundred.
Like the song !
Captain Smith would have liked to ask him many questions right then.
For example : ''Where the hell did you learn to play the piano ?''
Or : ''ln what damn hole were you hiding ?''
Orelse : ''Where in Christ's name are you getting this music from
which seems to enter into your veins ?''
But he was a man in uniform.
He only managed to say : ''All of this is against the regulations.''
Fuck the regulations !
His exact words : ''Fuck the regulations !''
But l don't understand what the record has to do with any of this.
You're not the sharpest knife in the drawer, Pops. That's his music.
The music of Danny Boodman T.D. Lemon Nineteen Hundred.
The greatest ivory tickler on the seven seas.
That's amazing !
If that's all true, this record must be worth a fortune !
This record can make us both rich.
That record shouldn't exist.
The only existing matrix was destroyed right after it was cut.
Well, this is a matrix.
lt's one of those that they used for on the spot recording.
How did you find it ?
I spent a whole day trying to put the pieces together.
I found them by accident, hidden inside one of those two pianos.
I bought them from a second-hand dealer
who emptied out an old hospital ship down at Plymouth.
They're going to destroy it in a couple of days.
What do you mean ''destroy'' ?
-Where's the old hospital ship ? -That's it.
Thank you.
-Where are you from ? -Liverpool.
-I'm a barber. -Sign there.
Next. What's your trade ?
-I'm a cook, barber, tailor. -Too many things for us, out !
-I'm also a good mechanic. -Get out ! Next.
-What do you do ? -I play the trumpet.
We've already got musicians on board. Get out !
Next.
Where the hell's he going ?
-What was that ? -I don't know.
When you don't know what it is, it's jazz !
Jazz !
-What's your name ? -Max Tooney.
Okay !
It was the happiest day of my life.
All those people with hope in their eyes,
the goodbyes, the sirens and that floating world starting to move.
It felt like one big party just for me.
But just three days later the ocean got tired of the festivities.
Suddenly, inthe middle of the night, she went berserk and hell broke out.
Now, a guy blowing a trumpet on a ship
can't do much when there's a raging storm.
Not playing the trumpet is all he can do not to complicate matters.
But I couldn't bear being down there.
The same line kept raging in my head : ''he died like arat.''
And I didn't want to die like a rat.
Damn it, I'm lost !
Conn, what's the problem ?
Have you lost your sealegs ?
You're the new trumpet man, aren't you ?
You blow a Conn, right ?
Come with me. l have a cure for your misery.
Follow me.
-Take the brakes off. -But that's crazy !
Trust me. Go on, take them off.
Come and sit near me.
-You're really nuts ! -Get on now or you never will.
-Tell me, have you got children ? -No.
Shit, they'll lock you up in an orphanage one of these days !
He's nuts.
-Whoa, Mama ! -I see you know your horses.
-A little. -Good man !